Communication is key to a good relationship, so keep the conversation going. As Natalie Jones explains, asking questions is an essential part of this communication.
This back-and-forth “helps you get to know your partner, establish trust, boundaries and intimacy, as well as learn about their communication style.” But not all questions are equal. But not all questions are equal. In some cases, they can be warning signs that the end is near. We consulted therapists to uncover the questions that indicate your partner is about to break up with you. Read on to find out what you should listen to.
1 – Do you mind if I spend the weekend alone?
Sometimes people just need a little more time to themselves or want to do certain things alone. But according to Terri DiMatteo, LPC, a professional marriage therapist at Open Door Therapy, a sudden change where your partner starts asking for time away from you can also indicate that they want to break up. This change may reflect an interest in “a more independent or solitary future,” she warns.
To help you figure things out, DiMatteo recommends asking your partner directly if this need for space is delaying an inevitable breakup or if it’s something they think would strengthen the relationship. “Reading your partner’s cues is only half the equation. It is entirely possible to interpret cues inaccurately, especially if you feel unsure of yourself,” she explains. “It’s important to be direct.”
2 – How would you feel about going out with [blanc…] ?
While it can also be a sign of other problems in a relationship, a partner asking you about your feelings for other people could be a sign of an impending breakup. Matt Langdon, mental health and wellbeing expert for The Great Brain Experiment, explains that someone who wants to end a relationship can start talking openly about the possibility of their partner being with someone else .
“Your partner may be asking these questions because they are no longer interested in the relationship,” says Ms. Langdon. “He can also ask these questions to prepare you for the breakup. “
3 – What direction do you see this relationship taking?
Sometimes both partners in a relationship have trouble seeing it in the long term, even if they don’t say it out loud themselves. If your partner wants to separate, they may start asking your opinion to see if you’re on the same page, says Tiffany Homan, a relationship expert who works with Texas Divorce Laws. To do this, he can start asking you questions like “Where do you see this relationship?” or “Do you see me in your future?”, according to Tiffany Homan.
“The reason is that they have already made up their minds and want to know your point of view,” she explains. “These questions indicate that they are considering ending the relationship because they show that they have been thinking about the future and are having a hard time imagining you there; so they want to know what you think.”
4 – What would you do if we broke up?
According to Joseph Puglisi, relationship expert and CEO of Dating Iconic, your partner may also try to get a sense of how you’ll react to the breakup before you take action. This can result in questions like “What would you do if we broke up?” or “How would you react to a breakup?”.
“By asking these questions, your partner is making you understand that he wants to break up, but is afraid of what will come next. He’s not sure how you would react,” he notes. It’s not necessarily a matter of worrying about potential volatility – it could also mean that, although he needs space in the relationship, “he loves you and is afraid of hurting you,” says M. . Puglisi.
5 – Are you happy?
According to Celeste Labadie, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist working in Boulder, Colorado, the questions that precede a breakup can sometimes take the form of affirmations. According to her, this often results in your partner questioning your happiness, especially when it comes to the relationship. Whether it’s a question or statements such as “I feel like you’re not happy with me anymore” or “I don’t know what to do to make you happy,” it This is a major warning signal.
“These questions are primarily focused on the other person, but they also reveal the partner who is frustrated and feels like they are done with the relationship,” says Labadie.
6 – Why are we still in a relationship?
If you’re not prepared for the end of your relationship, you may miss the more direct questions. Celeste Labadie explains that some people are very clear before a breakup – asking things like “Why are we doing this?” or “What is the point anyway?”. According to the Colorado therapist, these questions may follow other signs of frustration in the relationship, such as questioning your happiness.
“These questions indicate that your partner’s frustration has fallen into breakdown territory,” she warns. “Collapse is a state of black and white thinking. It indicates that your partner no longer sees a way to improve the relationship. ”
7 – Do you think it’s going to rain?
When we don’t know what to say to a stranger or acquaintance, many of us fall back on mundane platitudes, like asking what the weather is like. If your partner starts doing it exclusively, it can be a clear sign that they’re thinking about a breakup, according to Labadie. After all, talking about the weather is often “used to fill awkward silences or to divert the conversation from uncomfortable topics,” explained the social anthropologist Kate Fox at the BBC.
Celeste Labadie explains that this type of communication is generally accompanied by certain body language and emotions. “Your partner may no longer look you in the eye or for very long. He looks away. He may sigh heavily in your presence. He may also ignore you or double-shut the door,” she explains. “He may also be angrier or more stoic. They may only talk to you about the weather.”
I’m a big fan of short stories about people – I’m a pro at tech and smartphones, serial literature, and writing in my spare time.