Afro american couple with relationship problems

How To Know If You Have A Toxic Friendship And What To Do About It

Having friends is the key to happiness. We do not say it, but science says it, but nurturing a healthy bond is not always an easy task.

It has always been said that true friends can only be counted on the fingers of one hand. Some people think they have more than five and some think they have fewer, but how do you know for sure? Or rather, when do you have to say “enough” to someone you thought was your friend? Friendships, just like couples or any other form of relationship, can be toxic, and sometimes the idea of the bond seems more powerful than losing that person. Maybe that’s why you’re not realizing it, but there are clear signs that will help you recognize it.

Having friends is key to being happy. It’s not us who say so, but science. The truth is that spending time with them turns out to help reduce our stress and even prevent cognitive decline. In addition, friendships can also be an emotional support. Through them, the world certainly becomes more interesting. But nurturing a healthy bond is not always easy.

If you become a bad version of yourself when you are with one of these people, let us tell you that they are not necessary in your life. Yes, it doesn’t matter if you’ve known each other for many years, or if you see each other often, if they don’t make your time a better time, it’s time to leave them behind.

Emotional vampires

According to the book The Psychology of Friendship, you should end friendships that lead to destructive behavior, i.e., that make you behave in a negative or dangerous way, as this offers no benefit. Emotional vampires exist and are on the loose. If you feel emotionally drained after seeing a friend, that’s a bad sign.

Any psychologist points it out: healthy friendships are based on reciprocity and balance. In a relationship of two, it can’t be just one person who always has to carry the other’s problems. In this sense, a good friend does not betray your trust when you decide to tell him or her something that you only think you could share with him or her. Does he or she go off the deep end from time to time and tell your secrets? This doesn’t look good… And let us tell you that if in these cases his or her answer is “I’m like that” it’s time to run away.


Usually, mistrust arises even if your mind wants to draw a veil over it. And when there is a trust issue, communication starts to go awry. Along with this, manipulative attitudes or so-called gaslighting, when your so-called friend makes you feel that your opinion is not valid, that your feelings don’t count and that maybe you’re losing your mind when you tell him or her about a problem.

Communication is essential in any healthy relationship and you should feel that you can speak your mind without being judged. Keep that in mind. And together with trust it forms the pendulum on which you swing. Do you always put your shoulder, your plans or even your wallet on the line?

Nothing unusual turn out to be those so-called friends who constantly “forget” the wallet, those who never offer to help and do nothing good for others and make you feel used all the time. Of course, being there through “thick and thin” is an unwritten law among friends, but as long as you know they would do the same for you. If they do all of this, congratulations.