But when it comes to a relationship with a gaslighting manipulator, it can quickly become toxic and damaging. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person creates an atmosphere of confusion and doubt in their partner, thereby calling into question their own perception, sanity or memory.
The partner then finds himself vulnerable and under the control of the one who manipulates. Here are the top 10 red flags that may indicate you’re in a relationship with a gaslighting manipulator, and why it’s important to end the relationship.
Dishonesty and lies
Dishonesty and lying may be common in a relationship, but gaslighting goes deeper. When you confront your partner about their lies and they try to justify their actions or deflect attention away from themselves, it’s a sign of gaslighting. Gaslighting manipulators have a very loose relationship with the truth and use words like “always” and “never” to create a narrative that justifies them.
A gaslighting manipulator will often attempt to isolate their partner from their friends and family, in order to make it more difficult for them to realize that the relationship is abnormal or unhealthy. Isolation is often accompanied by psychological manipulation that causes the person to withdraw from their support system. By finding themselves alone, the partner is more vulnerable to the manipulator’s control.
Triangulation is another tactic used by gaslighting manipulators. They create conflicts between different people and arrange to be the intermediary between them, so as to control the narrative between these people. This manipulation creates a deep divide between the people involved and makes them dependent on the gaslighting intermediary.
Gaslighting manipulators like to play the role of the victim to distract attention from their harmful behaviors. They complain about being accused of something or being hurt by their partner’s actions, which leads them to feel guilty and apologize even for things that aren’t their fault.
Gaslighting Manipulators Can Be Abusive
One of the consequences of gaslighting is that the partner comes to doubt their own memory. The manipulator obscures facts and evidence in such a way that everything is up for debate. Constantly being accused of having memory problems and experiencing confusion or ambiguity in conversations can be signs of gaslighting.
Gaslighting manipulators may be verbally abusive, minimizing their partner’s feelings and opinions and undermining their partner’s confidence. Their goal is to make their partner feel small, helpless and confused. This behavior can impact self-esteem and create a feeling of dissociation, paranoia or fear in the person being manipulated.
Gaslighting manipulators have difficulty owning their mistakes and prefer to blame others or distract from their wrongdoings. They avoid accountability and the conversation becomes complicated and confusing when their partner tries to confront them. The more we try to make them face their responsibilities, the more they resist.
Question your own beliefs
If your partner constantly questions your interpretation of events and makes you doubt the veracity of your own evidence, you may be in a relationship with a gaslighting manipulator. This person has the ability to make you question your own beliefs and make you feel vulnerable and uncertain.
Gaslighting manipulators often claim to understand their partner’s feelings better than they do. They project their own emotions onto their partner and pretend to know how she feels, which can be very confusing and manipulative.
It’s important to recognize the warning signs of gaslighting in a romantic relationship in order to protect yourself. Gaslighting manipulators create an atmosphere of confusion, doubt, and psychological manipulation that can be detrimental to the mental and emotional health of the person being manipulated. Getting out of this toxic relationship is essential to regain your autonomy and self-confidence.
I’m a big fan of short stories about people – I’m a pro at tech and smartphones, serial literature, and writing in my spare time.